Accepting the Season

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Photo Credit: “Matthew” via Compfight cc

After the last year of feeling like I was finally getting a handle on life again, my husband and I decided to have another baby. When we made that decision, I knew I’d be giving up a lot of what I had done to build a life for myself, in addition to my primary role as mom and wife. I’d worked hard to build my blog, even building a small affiliate income that had become a semi-necessary stop-gap against unexpected expenses in a stretched tight budget. I was finally finding a rhythm in homeschooling my daughter and we had even joined a homeschool co-op. When we found out we were pregnant, I was ecstatic and then the morning sickness hit.

Strike that, it came like a tsunami and tore up my life and expectations. This is my fourth pregnancy and I thought I knew what to expect. Yes, I’d be tired. I would need to make sure I got plenty of rest. Eat every few hours to avoid nausea, balance my proteins and carbs to help prevent another round of gestational diabetes. But that wasn’t what happened. After spotting, bleeding and an emergency ultrasound, baby was Ok, but I most definitely was not. I squeaked through my last week or two of free -lancing for my old job, including two very long days putting our biggest event of the year together and then I collapsed, both physically and emotionally. I was so sick I could barely eat. I rarely showered or got out of my pajamas. My kids made due with cold cereal, PBJ and fruit. I lived on goldfish crackers and after a while, not even those. After two weeks, and a positive ultrasound, I decided I needed help, so my doctor prescribed medication. I felt defeated, but I was desperate. At least now I could eat, though I was still living primarily on Ensure and pretzels, but at least I was eating a regular meal or two each day.

All my grand goals of a fit pregnancy where I would be active, eat healthy and continue to move along at my usual rate, was gone. Right now I just want to survive the first trimester and hope for an easing of symptoms in the second. I want to get back onto a more diabetes friendly diet (all the sugar in those Ensures makes me cringe every time) but I also know that EATING period is my priority right now. I’ll have to deal with the rest later.

It’s been very hard to set aside ongoing projects. My blog has been quiet with me not even having enough energy to type most of the time. My thoughts come in hazy bursts between exhaustion and nausea.

But this is the season I’m in. It won’t last forever. Lamenting it and blaming myself doesn’t make it any easier to cope. I have no control over how my body is handling the rush of hormones this time around (or the fact that I was in maternity clothes at 10 weeks because none of my normal pants would close). This is just where I’m at and I need to accept it. It does not make me weak or a failure. Accepting that has actually made all of this easier. Yes, the guilt is still there. When my overworked husband comes home exhausted and then makes dinner, cleans up the house and puts in the kids to bed. When my kids watch more TV in a week than they usually do in a month. But I just keep telling myself, this will pass.

Categories: Parenting, SAHM, Self-Care | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

Conquer the Myth of Not Enough Time: Mindset for Moms

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Photo Credit: Mario Gil Gómez via Compfight cc

Yes, this is true.  We all have 24 hours in a day. I really struggled with this chapter. Because while I know I only have a certain number of hours a day, the same as everyone else, it doesn’t feel like. Because time and uninterrupted time are different things. Because doing 15 different tasks a day and finishing none of them doesn’t have the same satisfaction as one or two completed items. She doesn’t even begin to address urgency vs. importance in this chapter.

Jamie says that what gets done shows us our true priorities. If I look at my life that way, it makes me sad. Because playing with my children is rarely high on the list. I don’t mind reading (at least until I’m forced to read the same Thomas the Tank engine book too many times). But it’s hard for me to feel drawn into screaming play. It’s so loud and my head wants to explode. I remember in the summer making a real point to enjoy my kids at the park. It was great. But it’s winter now. Our little house feels like it gets smaller by the day. What gets done is meals, some laundry and occasionally dishes. Do these things really matter to me? NO! We could eat twice a week and pay someone else to do the laundry. But we can’t afford to. So instead these things that don’t really matter but must be done take over. The urgent outweighs the important.

There is also a significant different in the usefulness of my hours. I may have 24 hours a day, but I also require sleep. (How I wish I didn’t). Sometimes I require more sleep than usual. So I must sacrifice those hours or opt to sleep less and have fewer useful hours. You know what I mean. When you stay up that last extra hour but you are so tired you can’t focus and end up puttering on the internet or a ten minute task takes and hour because of fatigue. This is the law of diminishing returns. Sometimes it’s better to let it go. This is especially hard when I feel like I’m sacrificing me time. The time after my kids are in bed is the small amount of time I have for myself. Sometimes I blog or do other work. I prefer to relax and knit or crochet. Sometimes I do house work. But if I stay up too late, no matter how fun the activity, I usually pay for it in bad mood or inefficiency the next day.

This is one of those chapters where I don’t have any answers. Jamie says we should live more in the present moment instead of being constantly distracted, which I agree with. This will help us engage more fully in the one thing we are doing. But those of us with multiple kids who homeschool, work from home, etc. Sometimes doing one thing isn’t our choice. I sit down to do school with my daughter and my son wets his pants. Or I finally get a quiet moment to put down a few thoughts toward a blog posts and my kids begin fighting. The phone rings. And important work or ministry email needs an immediate response. It can be so difficult to maintain presence and focus on one thing. I guess what I need to work on is to be better about returning to the moment after the distraction has subsided.

For me, more interruption leads to less productivity. Hence why as a mom, I can work all day and still feel like I’ve accomplished nothing. (This is not specific to moms though. My husband says he feels like this at work some days too).

So no, I don’t have the magic solution to how to get it all done or even tips on how to make it better. Just make room to laugh and love no matter what you are doing. In the end, that’s probably all any of us can hope for.

 

Web

Mindset for Moms From Mundane to Marvelous Thinking in Just 30 days

How Do You Want to Change? Mindset for Moms

Talk Less: Mindset for Moms

Remember the Promise of the Seasons: Mindset for Moms

Want What You Have: Mindset for Moms

Fake It: Mindset For Moms

What Are You Expecting?: Mindset For Moms

Don’t Expect Kindness From Your Kids: Mindset for Moms

Learn to Think Like Your Child: Mindset For Moms

Move! Mindset for Moms

It’s OK to be Down: Mindset for Moms

Get a Grasp on Gratitude: Mindset For Moms

Find the Emotional Rest You Need: Mindset for Moms

What Are You Putting In Your Mind? : Mindset for Moms

Write it Down: Mindset for Moms

Let It Go: Mindset for Moms

Do Only 6 Things Today: Mindset for Moms

Discover Your Mission

Tell Your Kids What You Want

Request a Do-Over

Move Away From Competition & Comparison

Give Your Time, Give Your Money, Give Your Stuff: Mindset for Moms

No Replays

Survive as an Introverted Mom

Surround Yourself by Great Thoughts from Great Minds

Categories: Mindset for Moms, Stay at Home Mothering | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

Open, Be Still and Rest: Five Minute Friday

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My life for the past few weeks has been so different than I expected. Between weather and health I have been nearly housebound. My children are cranky, and mommy is worse. My life feels small, closed and limited. But then I opened a new devotional my mom bought me called Jesus is Calling. As I opened to the daily reading it was exactly what I needed to hear. Don’t resent times of forced stillness. Look for God in them. So here I am, trying to open my heart and listen for his voice. In my tiny, freezing living room amid piles of laundry and not even the briefest thoughts for dinner. My situation may have temporarily forced me to be inactive but I can choose to be still.

As I lay my exhausted body down to sleep last night, I whispered the same repeated prayer, “Please give me rest, I need Your rest.” This is also a choice. Inactivity isn’t rest either unless I let it be. I need to set aside the worry over what I cannot do, all the must be left undone and what the next weeks and months may hold. I rest in His strength. He has it all under control. This is easier to say than to do. Sometimes it’s as simple as closing my eyes and taking a deep breath or letting a spontaneous hug from one of my kids extend into a cuddle. Letting them know I love them, even if I can’t do all the things I usually do with them.

Because we all having something to learn from stillness and rest.

Want to join us? Find out more here.

Categories: Five Minute Friday | Tags: , , , | 4 Comments

Hoping and Waiting: Five Minute Friday

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Photo Credit: scottwills via Compfight cc

Oh how I hate the waiting, especially when the end result is by no means guaranteed. Distraction has so often been my friend. Find something to keep busy, something else to think about as you wait for the news. I’m doing a psychological experiment on myself. Is waiting and hoping really better than just waiting? Is there ever any harm in hoping for the best? I want to believe that hope is always better. Because when the bad times comes, I don’t think anticipating them will make the pain any easier. But the voices of the past always come, threatening disappointment and fear. So hope has to rise above all of that.

Waiting doesn’t have to be passive. Our actions may have no impact on the final results, but as long as they acknowledge that, doing something can serve a purpose. Either by distraction or giving us a focus for our hope and an outlet for our anxiety. Usually for me it means losing myself in a book or keeping my hands busy with knitting. (For the record my toddler yelling at me does not make the waiting easier).

But what does help, is surrounding yourself with others who love and support you. Waiting is always easier with company and hope is contagious.

Want to join us? Find out more here.

Categories: Five Minute Friday, Writing | 1 Comment

Kelly Dean Project: Week 3

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It can be hard to feel motivated for a whole month, so this week will be a little bit easier. I don’t list the Foundation Five but obviously if you have the time to fit it in, they continue to be recommended.

This week is only one routine a day organized in my preferred combination. Why you say? I like to alternate cardio and stretching.

Day 1 

Kelly Dean Total Body Toning

This continues to be one of my favorite workouts, even on Fit2B. I could do this at least once a week, if not more. It’s all built in, stretching, cardio, arm work and core. When I know I should do something and I can’t decide what, this is the one I choose.

Day 2

Kelly Dean Total Body Stretching

If I could do the previous workout and this one every day, I’d be in fantastic shape. (That would probably be another interesting experiment).

Day 3

Kelly Dean Cardio

I enjoy this workout as a great way to switch up my usual short cardio choices, Basic Aerobics II or Basic Aerobics III. I wish it was on Roku, I probably would use it more often. But as it is, I do continue to work it in wherever I can.

Day 4

Pregnancy Stretching with Kelly

This is a great stretch, I don’t care if you are pregnant or not. So please don’t let that stop you.

Day 5

Kelly Dean Wall Workout

This is a short workout that has serious punch. If you have less than 10 minutes but know you should workout, this the one you need. You will get a good workout but not get too sweaty so you can fit it in anywhere.

Day 6

Bonus: Kelly’s Floor Core

I’ll admit this is not my favorite workout because it’s hard. It doesn’t seem like it would be, but core work on your back requires constant vigilance.

This experiment is going on a bit longer than I anticipated, but I still want to try to finish out the whole month. If you are getting bored or need more of a challenge, please feel free to add other workouts. The point is to see whether a month of Kelly Dean helps to reinforce proper patterns of breathing and core control. Only one week left!

The Kelly Dean Project Week 1
The Kelly Dean Project: Week 2

The Tummy Team Core Foundations Online Program

If you haven’t yet tried Fit2B, now is your chance. You can use the coupon code laundryblog to save 30% off a Fit2B Studio yearly membership. That’s less than $7 a month!
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Or check out the Fit2B Store for other great healthy living products.

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Don’t forget the Fit2B e-course, Experts on Diastasis Recti, too.

Experts on Diastasis Recti Online Course 

Categories: Exercise, Fit2B Studio | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

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