Cookies on the Couch

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Photo Credit: valeehill Flickr via Compfight cc

We haven’t had a date in the long time. At the end of June we were lucky enough to have a day (as in 24 hours) without the kids. We stayed the night at a local hotel having dinner in their beautiful on site restaurant and breakfast the next day. I realize how lucky I was to have that time. And yet , I’m feeling the need for another break.

We try to find time for the two of us, but with a house full of boxes and a to-do list of renovation tasks, a real date, the kind with a leisurely meal and my husband’s undivided attention without the adorable but persistent voices and needs of our little people, is likely any time soon. Now that the clock is ticking for the big move, yet another reason beyond the usual daily distraction gets in the way.

So we need to find other ways to connect. A cookie each sitting on the couch watching a sitcom hardly takes the place of a date, but it’s better than nothing. Going to bed early to read, talk and cuddle isn’t the same as an evening out of my crazy house, but it is still a time to rest and connect with each other.

Hopefully when the dust settles we’ll find time or one of those idyllic evenings of looking into each others eyes and having real conversations without pausing to wipe up anything or anyone. Or perhaps we’ll have to settle for evenings of cookies on the couch for a while longer.

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The Last One

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He won’t remember this house.

The room where each of my children have slept, he being the last. With the map of the Hundred Acre wood and small Winnie the Pooh illustrations. The tiny room where there is only space for the crib and a dresser. The crib my sister and I slept in as babies and the dresser my father made for us. The tiny living room where all three of them learned to crawl, cruise and walk.

I wonder if he’ll learn to walk before we move, or after. Part of me hopes after. Because as much as I’m so looking forward to our new home, all those memories of the first will be left behind here. So it would be nice if one of those big milestones was in our new home.

He’s the last little one to be born to this house, and mostly to this family. It feels like a fitting time, in many ways, to find a new place, for the new life in the post baby years. Maybe I’ll feel a little less sad about it when he’s truly not my baby anymore.

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31 Days: Do I Dare to Be?

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To be real. To be ordinary and risk being called boring. To know that it’s OK when I’m not perfect and even to revel in it at times. Because I don’t need to prove who I am. I don’t need to justify why I don’t do social media well or explain why my life hasn’t gone viral yet. Because this is my space and my story. I’ve already spent too many of these thirty some years worrying about missing out. So what if I just did what I wanted?

I don’t mean in an obnoxious, arrogant kind of way. Rather the opposite. What if I just humbly, and gently, in all that I do just be myself? Maybe I wouldn’t worry so much about doing and saying the proper thing. Or maybe I’d actually have more real things to say.

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Want to join us? Find out more here.

Day 23: Enjoy!

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Day 1
Let’s Move

Day 2
View: My Life as a Landscape

Day 3
He Makes All Things New

Day 4
Learning to Fly

Day 5
Not Stuck

Day 6
He Knows Me

Day 7
Go, But Stay

Day 8
Say Mama

Day 9
Join Me

Day 10
Grandmama

Day 11
Teach Me Your Ways

Day 12
Rest

Day 13
Holy Work

Day 14
Away

Day 15
Real Life

Day 16
My 500th Blog Post

Day 17
Remember the Days

Day 18
Taste and See That the Lord is Good

Day 19
I Am Second

Day 20
Pursuing Peace, Expecting Joy

Day 21
Looking at Them

31 Days: Remember the Days

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I’ve heard it said so many times that the days are long but the years are short. Sometimes I find that encouraging. Other times I kind of want to punch whoever said it.

My children have emptied a cabinet and are taking turns shutting each other in it. It isn’t a good game until it ends with tears.
Bang, Bang, Bang! The door slams repeatedly and I try to discern if the screams are those of fun or pain. The days are very long sometimes. I can’t think as far ahead as years most of the time. Sometimes that makes me more dissatisfied. Why can’t my five year old do more for herself? Why do she and my two year old scream more than talk?

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But if I try to just focus on the day. Sometimes the goal is just to survive and still love each other at the end of the day. Others to treasure the moments. To hug a little longer, hold a littler closer, even if only for a few seconds.
When his hair still smells like a babies. When she crawls into be next to me for a morning snuggle. When they have quiet moments playing happily together. Instead of working I stop and watch. They beg me to join them and I try not to let the long day ahead supplant the moment. These are the days I will remember. The memories of the anger, the mess, the frustration and the noise will fade I’m sure. I already know that it goes by too fast. Their childhood seems to slip through my fingers like sand while I polish the hour glass.

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I don’t need to treasure each moment. That’s a platitude easily spoken by someone whose already escaped from the trenches. The higher view gives a unique perspective, and a blessedly faulty memory. I just need to make sure I stop long enough to experience the best of this. Zero in on the things I want to remember and take those extra moments to make a memory.

I remember a scene from the original Parent Trap with Haley Mills. She was sniffing her grandfather’s jacket and he asked what she was doing. “I’m making a memory,” she said. Yes, that’s what I’m doing.

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Day 18: Taste and See that the Lord is Good

Want to join us? Find out more here.

 

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Day 1
Let’s Move

Day 2
View: My Life as a Landscape

Day 3
He Makes All Things New

Day 4
Learning to Fly

Day 5
Not Stuck

Day 6
He Knows Me

Day 7
Go, But Stay

Day 8
Say Mama

Day 9
Join Me

Day 10
Grandmama

Day 11
Teach Me Your Ways

Day 12
Rest

Day 13
Holy Work

Day 14
Away

Day 15
Real Life

Day 16
My 500th Blog Post

31 Days: He Makes All Things New

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New

He makes all things new.

When the food hits the fan (quite literally) and I’m stuck cleaning up the mess.

He makes all things new.

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When the shrieks and screams have me worn to a frazzle.

He makes all things new.

When I shed tears in secret for the hurt feelings and my own failings.

He makes all things new.

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When I love them so much it hurts and I’m coming apart, being refashioned into someone I don’t recognize but desperately want to be.

He makes all things new.

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Want to join us? Find out more here.

Day 4: Learning to Fly

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Day 1
Let’s Move

Day 2
View: My Life as a Landscape

 

31 Days: My Life as a Landscape

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When I look at my life, it’s easy to only see the rough terrain. The deep and craggy valleys. The steep and rocky mountains. The typography of eroded places.

When I’m in it, it doesn’t look like much. I see the debris, the chaos. But on the rare occasions that I’m above it all, I can appreciate the view. The beauty and wonder of what I have and what I do.

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Sometimes (most of the time) it means cleaning up messes that are not my own. Doing without things I want or enjoy. But if I can separate myself for a moment, I can try to see this as an interesting and uneven part of the landscape. It may not be easy to walk through, but it’s beautiful to look at from above.

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Day 3
He Makes All Things New

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Day 1
Let’s Move