We are a month from a full house move. In the meantime, we need to keep our current house showing ready as potential tenants filter through, hoping that one of them will be the one to make this their new home. Of course the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas is a terrible time for this kind of thing. (As is the idea of closing on the new house and moving during New Year’s). These are not the times I would have chosen for this kind of upheaval in our lives.
(Did mention that the whole family is sick, and we have an open house tomorrow?) As I weigh the consequences (being totally out of it) with the advantages (release of severe sinus pressure) of taking cold medication, the to do list keeps piling up and all I really want to do is crawl under a blanket with a cup of something hot and a good book. But the continual calls of the small ones in my life rise above it all, needs for meals, noses wiped, diapers changed and conflicts resolved.
I realize that this is now within my power to solve. There is truly more to do than we have time for. I cannot will myself and my children healthy again. (Why does it seem that the kids are never as sick as the parents at a time like this?). After some whining about the unfairness of it all and having a mini-pity party, I must get back to work. Starting with talking myself through the basics. Get dressed, pray. Wash my face, brush my teeth, pray. For the last two months I have lifted up every aspect of this seemingly impossible journey we are on, and so far, we are still continuing, putting one metaphorical (though sometimes literal) foot in front of the other.
I have never been in control of the outcome, only how I handle the process. I haven’t always handled it well. But more often than not, I’ve been forced to recognize how much I like things to go my way, and that I must learn to make peace with the unknown and the unknowable. Because it is all known by the All Knowing One. The One who has determined my going out and my lying down. So I will lift my worries up to him, say a prayer of thanks and carry on.