photo courtesy of Twinkle Photo
I remember the morning well. Sitting at a table with a new mom at MOPS, a single mom who wasn’t sure if she belonged. She talked about how hard it was having to work full time and not seeing as much of her daughter as she liked. The attitudes from others (both Christians and not) that she had a child out of wedlock at all. How sometimes she felt inadequate as a mom. I’ll never forget what I said.
“The important thing is that you are here. You’re taking care of her and doing your best for her. You are trying to be a good mom.”
In a culture where risk of any kind is unacceptable and latest best selling parenting book or popular psychology expert tells us that we aren’t good enough as moms. Not just “not good enough” but “doing everything wrong and doomed to completely screw our kids up for life.” Where Pinterest perfect reigns supreme and we’ve all constructed our facades of put-togetherness so that we don’t let others see how things really are. Because let’s face it, we’re all just doing our best.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t seek the wise advice or seek to improve ourselves; but obsessing won’t make this job easier nor is it likely to make us better mothers. But most of us are just doing our best. We will never be perfect. Realizing this is half the battle. Laying our insecurities, our mistakes and pride (yep, it’s possible to feel insecure in one area of parenting and still feel prideful in another) at the foot of the cross. Acknowledging our daily and hourly need for help as women and as moms.
The important thing is that we are here. We may want to quit, run away and leave it all behind, but we haven’t. We’re still here in the trenches. We may barely get by some days, feeling as though we’re fighting a losing battle, but we’re trying nonetheless.
I need to take my own advice many days, especially right now. I’m not going to be perfect. There are many days where I know I won’t get it right. But I need to remind myself that I am the best mom for these kids and with much prayer (tears, desperation and frustration) keep trying.
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