I so appreciate this chapter because Jamie brings home an important point without guilt. Someday, these may very well be the times we look at most fondly. The other day I was missing breastfeeding my little babies. (Good timing, since baby #3 will be joining us at the end of the September). The reality was that for the first few weeks and last few months nursing my daughter was agony. While I mourned being finished at 13 months, I was grateful to end the constant pain. With my son, we struggled to maintain our nursing relationship between supply issues, weight loss and a nursing strike. In the end, I was ready to be done and rarely missed it. But here I am, missing what was a very difficult time in my life. My kids weren’t good sleepers and the last year or two of decent sleep has been great. Yet, I know I’ll be giving all of that up soon. Am I looking forward to it? Yes and no. It will be difficult, but I also know that someday I will miss it. This third child feels like my chance to try and enjoy all the good things one more time.
When my son is being his charming but aggravating self, I try to think how I’ll remember this all someday. When all I want is for them to learn to do things for themselves, I know I’ll miss being needed. In some ways having these two is making me appreciate the baby time more. Babies have such simple needs. Yes, they need you for everything, but there isn’t much they need. Not so with older children. They seem to need me almost as constantly, and their needs are ever changing and seemingly increasing. But I know that someday I will miss the living room wrestling matches and yummy noise at the dinner table.
Does this mean I don’t acknowledge the bad things? No, I do. But I try not to focus on only the bad. I give myself permission to feel angry and frustrated as long as it doesn’t rob all the joy from the tender and precious moments.