I’m Never Ready: Five Minute Friday

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This week’s prompt is ready.

I thought I was ready. I read the books, did the research. I found ways to pinch pennies and compromise when the budget wouldn’t allow me to do what I wanted. But the reality is harder. My five year old and two year old at home with me all day. Trying to get the housework done while trying to make sure we do something of educational value while keeping up with the steady demand for food and snacks. Adventures in Odyssey plays in the background as I finish my cold eggs at 10:30. We are already past breakfast and morning snack but still they cry for more. More raisins, another muffin, more of me. That’s all they really want. More of me. To play with them and be with them. We read, we work on writing. Read aloud is interrupted by my shouts for my son to get down of a high perch or put back the items he swipes from the kitchen counter.

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As so many of my friends send their kids off to school and crow with excitement at having moments to themselves again, I find that my world is fuller than even. To care for and teach them. To manage my household. Engage with my husband. Somehow find moments for myself. One can be certain you’ve made the right choice and still wish that it wasn’t.

I’m never ready. But life keeps changing and I’m needed more, not less as time goes on. I need to learn to be OK with that.

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7 thoughts on “I’m Never Ready: Five Minute Friday

    1. I feel like the Five Minute Friday posts often sound so negative but mostly they are just real, in the moment experiences. At the end of a long week I find myself waxing a bit philosophical about my life and parenting choices. Never has a wonderful thing been so difficult. Thanks for stopping by.

  1. I’m a homeschooling mom, and I can relate to the increasing but worthwhile demands. Sometimes I’m just weary of it all. I’ve found that it helps to talk with my husband, and sometimes a friend, about it. It not only helps by getting things off my chest, but it gives me quality time, which is one of my love languages.

    1. My husband and I talk about it often. But sometimes I feel like if I complain too much he doubts the decision to homeschool. But our children are so young, I’m trying to be as flexible as possible because if I make school a fight right now it will only get harder as they get older. Having other homeschooling friends does help, if only they weren’t all too busy to talk about it. I should probably make a stronger effort. Thanks for the advice and for stopping by.

      1. I always found comfort in talking with homeschooling moms of older kids, the ones who have been through the stage where I presently was. I agree about not making homeschool a fight. I have to say that I’ve let some of the housecleaning slip, because school is a higher priority.

  2. I SO appreciate your honesty and vulnerability, Bethany!!! The most freeing moment I have each day is when I surrender to the idea that I’m NOT a superwoman. There are only so many hours in the day and so many things I can (reasonably) accomplish. My husband recently heard someone use the term “overly optimistic” to describe someone and he said “hey that’s you!” I realized he’s right. I think I can do anything – everything – and I can’t. (that’s why I’m often late) Just admitting I can’t possibly do everything in front of me is so freeing. And a dear friend (Lisa Allen, also with Proverbs 31) http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devotion-author/lisa-allen/
    said she was praying a phrase from Proverbs for me that God would help me “sift the work of my hands.” I’m praying this for you. That God would help you sift the work of your hands. And that you can embrace the chaos and the struggle as part of the process (I say this from behind my own pile of unfolded laundry) 🙂

    1. Tonia, thank you for such encouraging words. I definitely am overly optimistic about how much I can accomplish. I want to be reading, writing, knitting and sewing all the same time. The housework never ends, and it needs to be done but I feel like I miss out on real life in the process. I will be praying that God helps me sift through the chaos and focus on what is more needful and most important.

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