I’ve talked a lot about gratitude here over the years. I credit focusing on gratitude as one of the ways that I overcame my extreme anxiety. But I do still struggle with it when it comes to my parenting. I wasn’t gifted with easy-going compliant children. So most tasks on most days are a struggle. There are tantrums, there is screaming. I really hate that it’s like that. I’m continually evaluating my parenting and trying to see how I can improve as a mom, but in the short term I need to hang on to thankfulness. I have two beautiful children. They have good qualities that I need to focus on. There have sweet moments that I need to try and record and remember, so that at the end of the day the disasters won’t be the only thing etched on my mind.
We all have something we can be grateful for. As a mom, it’s my kids. My life would be so different without them. On my rough days I sometimes wonder if me becoming a mom was a mistake, but I know that it wasn’t. I don’t believe that the existence of these amazing little creations is a mistake. So somehow, even in my failings, I was meant to be their mother. So I take a deep breath, pray for strength and thank God, even if only under my breath, for my job as mom. Gratitude will be my anchor that holds me fast to this place I call home.