I am wearied with mommy competition. It seems like all around me women are trying to justify the way they birth, eat, parent and generally conduct their lives. I heard a great quote recently that I unfortunately can’t attribute here but it went something like this.
“No one is thinking about you as much as you are.”
I’m realizing that I don’t need to justify how I chose to raise my kids to anyone. My husband and I need to come to an agreement between us and we are accountable to God, but you know what? That’s it. It doesn’t matter if my relatives approve of my intention to homeschool or if my friends thing my clothes are stylish enough. It’s Ok to want to feel good about myself, but I need to be careful that I’m truly trying to please myself rather than others with changes that I make.
Am I afraid to invite friends to dinner because they eat all free-range and organic and we can’t afford it? Sometimes, but I want to believe that hospitality covers a multitude of failures in the culinary department. I probably think way too much about what I’m wearing when I head out to a rare mom’s night out or even to MOPS or church on Sundays. Seriously, who cares what I wear or even notices?
This year’s MOPS theme is A Beautiful Mess, the problem is that most of us are afraid to show our mess. We women have become so practiced at protraying our best side that we forget that sometimes others can be encouraged by seeing our flaws. When we admit that we are less than perfect in whatever area, it lets other women (who probably already feel like terrible moms, because let’s face it, our culture sets the super woman/ super mom bar pretty high) realize that its OK that they aren’t perfect either.
So here goes.
This is my kitchen table, not just today, but most days. It also backs into my pantry for which there is no curtain or cover. Welcome to my staging area. Cloth napkins, table dock and keyboard, water bottles, knitting projects and Adventures in Odyseey cassettes.
This is my kitchen sink area. It actually looks pretty good and I’ve spent multiple hours in the last two days trying to bring the mess level down a little bit. But you don’t want to know how long that blender has been in there.
This is my organizing and filing area in the dining room. I’m supposed to file a little bit each week. It’s more like once a month. I’m several months behind (and this is the paperless/low paper version).
So there you have it. I also yell at my kids sometimes, feed them pancakes (from a mix I buy in bulk at Sam’s Club) when I’m too tired too cook and have been known to give another cookie just to get them to be quiet.
I think maybe if we all shared our weaknesses as freely as we do our strengths maybe we’d all put a lot less pressure on ourselves. Another great quote I can’t remember the author of
“Don’t compare your everyday to someone else’s highlight reel.”
Can’t we just love each other and encourage each other? Speaking of which, you’ll have to excuse me, I have to go breakup a fight between my screaming children.
Remember, we’re all in this mess together.