I had a hard time learning to dive as a kid. I was too timid. I first learned to dive off the side of the pool, but four foot diving board scared me. Even once I could use the diving board I never bounced on it much. I still now watch in amazement as Olympic springboard divers bounce, flip and tuck before breaking the surface at high speed. For me, even the most basic dive was one of those things best done without thinking much about it. Look for a wide open section of water you know is deep enough to be safe then run, let go and just dive in. When I think too much it slows me down. I am a planner. I like things to fit into neat little boxes with check lists and Excel spreadsheets. But sometimes it feels good to let
go and just dive in head first, making my list on the fly, not being sure what the outcome will be. I often find myself with my toes in the water. Afraid to see what will happen.
My daughter’s behavior is unpredictable, as are my sons eating habits. I find myself hoping that today he will nurse, the teeth will finally break through and he will eat properly and gain weight again. I hope that she will be compliant and just a little more self sufficient than yesterday. I want to say that I just dive into each day, but truth be told it feels more like they pull me in, clothes and all.